Tim sent me a link to a message board on jsonline.com which is pretty funny. A guy who named himself “Fruitin up the town” put together a list of Ben Sheets’ injuries since 2001. Yes, it’s a funny list, but honestly. Ben Sheets never has a baseball sounding injury. He gets crap like a paper cut on his toe. How does that affect him playing baseball? Sorry for the crudeness, but that’s part of what makes it funny.

Ben Sheets has missed games due to the following “injuries”:

2001:
Dysentery
Clamidia
Athlete’s Foot

2002:
Bad Haircut (caused him to throw off-balance)
Halitosis
Loose, watery, and frequent stool

2003:
Jock itch
Paper cut to back of non-throwing hand
Fecal Incontinence

2004:
Chapped lips
Itchy anus (30 day DL)
Boner lasting longer than 4 hours

2005:
Hiccups
Bruised nuts after falling off exercise bike
Bit by chicken

2006:
Bad haircut (15 day DL)
Tummy ache

2007:
Blister on finger
Bee sting (15 day DL)
Diarrhea