Johnny Hammer’s starting pitcher went the distance last night (so the bullpen didn’t blow the game like their beloved Brewers did earlier in the day), leading the team to a 13-4 victory over perennial competitor, Puddler’s Hall. Now, to Coach Z…

Well, our fast start continued tonight (even without our star player Mr. Hammer) as we beat Puddler’s Hall 13-4. Puddler’s was 2-1 coming into tonight so that was a quality win for us. Diggs, Tulsa, or whatever you want to call him filled in admirably as DH by going 2 for 3. Hawes pitched another outstanding game and Mike came through big with 4 RBI. Also congrats to Des on getting her first of many hits on the year.

Our game next week is at 8:15pm and our fanbase sucks, so get off our tooshies and come watch us. Coach Z has offered to buy a beer for anyone who shows up to cheer us on next week. Sign up below!

Season Stats…

With Coach Z finally breaking out of his hitting slump with a 3-3 performance last night, Jonny Hammer’s softball team won a stale 7-3 game last night. Statistics show that our team doesn’t hit well at 9:15pm games, and last night was no different; we had a mere 7 hits, most in the first inning, but did the best to score our runners and play some clutch defense to secure the win.

Next week’s game is at 7:15pm. Come join our new #1 Fan, Tulva the Vulva, and cheer us on to victory!

Season Stats…

Yes, I haven’t posted much lately, but nothing has really struck me as postable. Don’t worry though, I’ve got a few posts for you today.

The first one comes to you “ripped from the headlines” in Milwaukee. Basics (from jsonline.com):

The blaze began in the second-floor living room of the home.

Two adults jumped out of windows while firefighters entered the building and rescued the two children, who were hiding in their rooms, fire officials reported. Police said the children’s father also suffered injuries and was treated at a hospital. There was no further information on his condition available this morning.

So, what strikes me as unbelieveable in this story is that the parents jumped out of the window and LEFT THE KIDS! Now, I’m not a parent, nor do I claim to be an expert on parenting, but from what I’ve heard, when you have kids, they are your LIFE and you would do anything to protect them. It’s just a parental instinct. So, when your house is burning down, how does the instinct to save yourself outweigh the instinct to save your children? Wouldn’t you do your best to save your kids first and foremost?

Am I the only one who finds a hole in this?

From the desk of our favorite wing-thief, Tim…

It was a hard fought battle, and in the end Tara’s clutch hitting put us over the top and on to a 2-0 start to the season as we beat perennial contender Packy’s, 9-8. As soon as we get Hawes back and I remember how to make contact with the ball, we should be even better!

Coach “Jose Hernandez” Z

I think I’ll just post the running totals for the season and highlight individual game statistics below the season statistics.

It looks like the early contenders for the batting title are Dan, Jon and Mike… gotta love having your top 3 guys in the batting order hitting that well. Tripp is holding his own, batting .667 in his first game back off of the DL. Looking forward to next week–Des, Heather, Jenny and Tim, it’s time for your first hits!

It’s been too long since I’d had something in the “inappropriate acts of my friends” category. I guess everyone has just done a good job behaving themselves. Until now.

Tim, I know you’re upset that we had to shut down www.milwaukeewingtour.com, but that doesn’t mean you have to turn to crime…

THURSDAY, May 10, 2007, 4:44 p.m.
By Linda Spice

Robbers hit frozen chicken wing delivery
A 22-year-old man delivering frozen chicken wings to a north side store was robbed of a box of his goods after being threatened by two men with a gun, who of whom was arrested a short time later.

Milwaukee police said the armed robbery occurred outside of Buy Rite store, 2500 N. 35th St., about 10:50 a.m. yesterday.

The delivery man was delivering his shipment when he was approached by two suspects. They demanded property from him but he argued with the men and refused to give up anything. One of the suspects then showed a gun and the delivery man ran away.

When the man fled, one of the suspects took a box of chicken wings off of the truck.

A witness called police, who put out a description of the suspects. A Milwaukee County sheriff’s deputy in the area heard the broadcast and then found and arrested one of the suspects, who is 18, according to Milwaukee police Capt. Michael Young.

The victim was not hurt.

So, my mom send this email to me today–and once in a while, I’m a sucker for a “Hallmark poem,” especially when I can relate to it. The jist of it is that it’s a letter from a son or daughter that has passed away too soon and they want to still wish their mom a happy mothers day, but they can’t find a card for it.

It’s been 12 years since my brother passed away, and I’m sure he’s thinking the same thing up in heaven. Happy early Mother’s Day to all moms, but especially to those that have lost a child too soon.

Dear Mr. Hallmark,
I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.
There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.
I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?
My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as
well.
So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.
Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.
Peace and Love be with you.

I realize that the Brewers have been bad for a really long time. And I was cautiously realistic back on 4/20 when I was excited about the Brewers being in first place with a 9-6 record. And I realize we’re in a mediocre division. But here were are, on May 10th, and the Brewers haven’t lost a step.

Brewers: 23-10
Cubs: 15-15
Astros: 15-17
Pirates: 14-17
Reds: 14-19
Cardinals: 13-18

The Brewers have a lot of things going for them that set them apart too:

So my question to you is this: why are the Brewers STILL not getting much national media attention? I look at the MLB headlines on espn.com today and they talk about Bonds, and A-Rod, and the last place Cards topping the Rockies, and the Rangers activating Gagne. Then I go over to the MLB headlines on cnnsi.com, and they talk about the Cubs losing and the Tigers and the Yankees.

Aren’t people getting sick of hearing the same things over and over again? Honestly, who cares about the Cubs losing? Or how the Yankees are going to start winning and what Steinbrenner is going to do about it? Maybe I’ve got too much invested in my hometown team, but I would think hearing about a team that you haven’t heard squat about in the past 25 years might be a refreshing story.

From Coach Z…

Well we were a little intimidated at first, with our opponents not just having matching shirts (which we currently lack), but also matching pants, hats, and even socks. However, their skill did not match their appearance and we were able to defeat them easily, 23-6. Special thanks to Dan for filling in at pitcher at the last minute. Get well soon TRIPP! And congratulations to Jon on a “career” night.

Good start to the season everyone!

I think it’s a good start. All but one of our players has scored a run, which means everyone is getting on base, regardless of the method. The girls are holding their own with a .429 batting average, and Theresa hasn’t gotten warned yet for throwing her glove.

Hope to see everyone out at the game tonight–6:15pm!

Well, it’s that time of the year again–time for softball! We’ve got a new sponsor and an improved team over last year, so there’s hope!

As always, we enjoy fans at our games and it gives you an excuse to come make fun of the people that strike out. Schedule is below. All games are at Sijan Field in Bayview on Wednesdays. Hope to see you at the game!