Here’s a story for you to contemplate…

Man Signs Voter Registration As ‘God’

READING, Pa. (AP) — One registered Republican won’t be able to vote in the next election unless he appears at a Berks County Elections Board to explain the signature on his registration form.

The man is registered as Paul S. Sewell, but his form is signed “God.”

County Solicitor Alan S. Miller said Sewell claims his “God” signature is merely a legal mark like the “X” used by people who are illiterate.

Sewell, 40, said he will be happy to explain. As the owner of a bail enforcement agency, he finds fugitives, he said.

“Whenever I go to arrest somebody, they say, ‘Oh, God, give me another chance. Oh, God, let me go. I’ll turn myself in tomorrow,’” Sewell said.

He said he thinks his designated mark is legal. “PennDOT accepted it on my driver’s license. I have a credit card with it,” he said. “It shouldn’t be a problem.”

Ok, what DOT is going to say “ok, your signature definately looks like “Paul S. Sewell, not God.” I know people have some screwy signatures, but come on. God? Looks a little different…

I received a forward the other day from a former co-worker of mine and I thought it was right on the mark. I haven’t had a ton of friends/visitors come over and complain about my cats (Steve and Payton), but I know some of you don’t like animals and make little snide remarks about them. This one is for you.
 

Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and Like to Complain About Our Pets

1. They live here. You don’t.

2. If you don’t want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That’s why they call it ”fur”niture.)

3. I like my pets a lot better than most people.

4. To you, it’s an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn’t speak clearly.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids… they eat less, don’t ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don’t hang out with drug-using friends, don’t smoke or drink, don’t worry about having to buy the latest fashions, won’t wear your clothes, don’t need a gazillion dollars for college- and if they get pregnant, you can sell the children.

So, I must admit.  I’ve been watching American Idol these past few weeks.  Not because I get into it when they actually start voting for these people.  It’s because I like watching people embarassing themselves.  In some respects, it’s really sad.  Many of these people on the show actually think they are good singers.  And that just baffles me.  Because they are horrible.  Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell are supposedily the “bad guys” and the mean ones, but they are really just being honest when they say “That was absolutely horrible.”  It IS horrible.  

Does it make me a bad person for laughing at other people’s lack of talent?

Either way, while they are still showing the “tryouts” for the show, I highly recommend you watch it.  Where else can you see a 27 year old woman who looks like she is 50 trying out, a skinny dude trying to sing Thriller, an overweight man singing with a voice higher than Mariah Carey’s, and a 23 year old woman doing karate leg kicks when she’s wearing a miniskirt.  Good stuff…

Some of my frequent readers might be familiar with the “Other Matt“’s comments on this site.  Well, it has been brought to my attention that he will not be visiting my site anymore for reasons out of my control.

It’s a sad day when the readership for tarapfeifer.com goes down.  It is now up to the rest of you to recruit a new frequent-commenter for the site.  Get to it!  Applications are now being accepted…

I suppose we take being able to have a pizza delivered basically any time between 10am and 3am for granted.  The poor people in Alaska aren’t so lucky.  Nome, Alaska just recently got their first pizza delivery place… and some of the pizzas even have to be delivered by plane.  Congrats, Nome, on getting “Airport Pizza.”

HARD to believe, but Nome has just gotten its first pizza delivery business, a joint that brings gourmet pies to people’s doors and even flies special orders to Bush villages hundreds of miles away.

For free.

It may not arrive hot, but it’s all the rage in this Northwest Alaska region where Nome, with its 3,500 residents, had no food delivery options until Airport Pizza launched.

“Before we were opened, Nome had to be the last town in America that didn’t have pizza delivery,” said Matt Tomter, Airport Pizza manager. “So we didn’t come up with anything new. We just applied the same concept to Nome.”

Their motto: “You buy, we fly!” Delivery is free to villages by Frontier Flying Service. And Nome and its surrounding villages are grateful.

Pretty cool deal if you ask me.

Neill read in an article last night that 21% of the players in the NFL have some sort of criminal record. Am I the only one that thinks that is a lot?? So, I did a little searching on the internet today, and found a few more tidbits about those facts…

21 percent of the NFL’s players have been charged with a serious crime. How serious? The docket begins with assault, rape, and domestic violence and keeps spiraling out of control. These are not just blind allegations; the authors name names and match felonies to players. Some of the better-known examples: Cornelius Bennett–rape and sexual assault; Cortez Kennedy–domestic violence; Michael Irvin–cocaine and marijuana possession; Nate Newton–sexual assault; Warren Moon–domestic violence; Jake Plummer–sexual abuse; Andre Rison–aggravated assault; Bruce Smith–driving under the influence; and Deion Sanders–aggravated assault, disorderly convict, trespassing, and battery.

I didn’t know that Jake Plummer and his porn star hair and mustache were accused of sexual abuse.  It all makes sense now.

Then, this other guy made up his own “NFL All-Criminal Team” which I thought was pretty funny.  You can read the majority of it on your own by clicking here, but here is who made the team and some ones that I thought were funny or interesting…

1.  Todd Marinovich - QB

2.  O.J. Simpson - RB
     The Juice is an obvious choice, so we won’t spend much time with his legal qualifications for this team. Double-murder, here’s your jersey.

3.  Lawrence Phillips - RB
     While at Nebraska, in what may be his most famous carry, he was accused of breaking into his ex’s room, dragging her by the hair down three flights of stairs, and jacking her head against a mailbox, which also earns him a nomination for the All-Caveman Team.

4.  Rae Carruth - WR
     Guilty of the most heinous crime in the history of the NFL (remember, OJ was acquitted), Carruth is an obvious choice. He orchestrated the execution-style murder of his pregnant girlfriend because she refused to have an abortion.

5.  Michael Irvin - WR
     His roster spot is further solidified by the fact that he once had a hit out on him – by a cop. Former Dallas police officer Johnnie Hernandez was arrested after he paid $2960 to an undercover DEA agent in order to have Irvin murdered. Awesome.

6.  Mark Chmura - TE
     Bring it home, Chewy!

7.  Barret Robbins - OL
     Previously best known for disappearing the night before Oakland’s Super Bowl thrashing in 2003, Robbins trumped that the following year by attacking three police officers who, being armed, shot him twice in the chest.

8.  Nate Newton - OL
     Newton was a shoe-in for this team when he got busted in Louisiana with 213 pounds of marijuana after being pulled over for a traffic violation (who breaks traffic laws with a van full of drugs?), but then he made a serious case to become a team captain six weeks later when, while out on bail, he got busted again. This time it was 175 pounds of marijuana in the trunk of his car.

9.  Justin Strzelczyk - OL
     After a hit-and-run accident in New York, police chased his pickup 40 miles, during which Strzelczyk flipped off troopers and at one point threw a beer bottle at them. In the end, Strzelczyk crashed head on at 90 miles per hour into a tanker truck carrying corrosive acid, leaving an explosive scene police compared to an airplane crash.

10.  Chris Terry - OL
     Arrested for wife beating in 2002. While that’s nothing new in the NFL, it is worth noting that in this instance he slammed her into a wall, head-butted her and stuffed her face into a pillow – while their two children watched.

11. Keno Hills - OL

(more…)

Now, I’m guessing that there are still some people around that download music and DVDs illegally.  But most people do it in the comfort of their own homes.  MAYBE some people do it at work… but when you work for your state government, don’t you think that might be pushing the limits a tish too much??

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) — Tucked away in the basement of West Virginia’s gold-domed Capitol, state officials say, an office was secretly transformed into a taxpayer-funded studio that may have been used to pirate DVD videos and music CDs.

Administration Secretary Robert Ferguson said his staff stumbled across the office after finding evidence that government purchase cards were used to buy $88,000 worth of computers and related equipment over three years.

The office contained hundreds of blank DVDs, CDs and jacket covers as well as numerous recorders for both mediums and more than one computer, according to a Jan. 5 memo written by state Chief Technology Officer Kyle Schafer. The memo was obtained by The Associated Press through the Freedom of Information Act.

“Specifically, one hard drive contained approximately 40 full-length motion videos,” Schafer wrote. “Two other hard drives contained over 3,500 MP3 music files.”

“We will hold accountable those people who have abused the letter and the spirit of the law,” Ferguson said.

Uh… HELLO.  Can you be any more idiotic??

Neill took me to Chicago this past weekend for my belated Christmas present.  While I have been to Chicago plenty of times, I have never been downtown just to sightsee.  I had never seen the “Magnificent Mile” or Millenium Park up close.  The extent of my visits to Downtown Chicago have been to see the Jerry Springer show and to go down to the Taste of Chicago.  That’s about it.

Neill tells the story on his website at http://www.neillobrien.com/.  So, I highly suggest you check it out.  It was a great gift.  Thanks Neill. 

Ah yes… Neill, Greg and John, you definately have some classy neighbors in Racine.

From the Journal Times:

A dirty business: Braun Road residents lash out at diaper dumper
 

MOUNT PLEASANT - Jenny Van Pool wants to wants to put a sign up on Braun Road near Interstate 94: “Want me to come take a dump in your yard?” She’s upset over the dirty adult diapers that appear in the ditch on a regular basis. Friday afternoon there were nearly two dozen diapers clearly visible in the ditch and surrounding fields in the blocks of Braun Road east of Interstate 94.

Several months ago one of her neighbors put up a big wooden sign that read “Take your shit home with you” that, for a time, effectively stopped the tide of diapers.

“As soon as it was removed, there were piles of them,” Van Pool said. “Why should we living on our street have to pick up someone else’s crap? You got to have gloves to pick them up. You got to have gloves. It’s so nasty.”She and her future daughter-in-law, Sarah Renteria, got so sick of seeing the diapers on the roadside that they called The Journal Times. They don’t know if whoever is leaving the diapers reads the paper, but they hope someone will say something and they will get embarrassed enough to knock it off.“We know it’s someone that regularly drives down there,” Renteria said. “The diapers look exactly the same. They’re big, huge white diapers, wrapped up. They’re sitting there for so long they come apart.”The diapers appear in little piles, maybe six at a time, several days in a row. Sometimes they get cleaned up right away; others are left for months, torn open by animals and left decomposing on the side of the road.“I won’t even take a walk down there ’cause it’s gross,” Van Pool said.

They got curious about who was leaving the disgusting litter in their neighborhood and staked out the Braun Road overpass, but never caught anyone dumping a load of diapers.

“We have no clue,” Renteria said. “It’s a mystery. We never caught anyone. We kind of think it’s happening at night. If they’re picked up in the morning there’s no more the rest of the day.”

If Van Pool had caught anyone leaving the piles of diapers around, she would have taken action.

“I feel sorry if we catch the person,” she said. “I’ll pull their head off.”

While they are angry about the human waste that litters their neighborhood, they are mystified about why the diapers keep appearing.

“The whole thing I don’t get is why would you have poopy diapers in the car?” Renteria said. “You do not leave that in the car. Maybe it’s because they’re a little embarrassed (and don’t want anyone to know they wear adult diapers). Maybe this is the next step to get them to have a little respect.”

She raises a good point.  WHY IN THE WORLD would someone have a ton of dirty diapers in the car and throw them out the window at the same house, week after week?  Weird… 

I received a threatening email today from one of my followers saying simply “Blog this” and a link.

For fear of my life, I will post about it.

An Egyptian cleric’s controversial fatwa claiming that nudity during sexual intercourse invalidates a marriage has uncovered a rift among Islamic scholars.

According to the religious edict issued by Rashad Hassan Khalil, a former dean of Al-Azhar University’s faculty of Sharia (or Islamic law), “being completely naked during the act of coitus annuls the marriage”.

The religious decree sparked a hot debate on the private satellite network Dream’s popular religious talk show and on the front page of today’s Al-Masri Al-Yom, Egypt’s leading independent daily newspaper.

Suad Saleh, who heads the women’s department of Al-Azhar’s Islamic studies faculty, pleaded for “anything that can bring spouses closer to each other” and rejected the claim that nudity during intercourse could invalidate a union.

During the live televised debate, Islamic scholar Abdel Muti dismissed the fatwa: “Nothing is prohibited during marital sex, except of course sodomy.”

Seriously.  I had to look up some words because I have absolutely no idea what this means.

fatwa:  Legal opinion concerning Islamic Law
edict:  a formal or authoritative proclamation
coitus:  Sexual intercourse
sodomy:  Any of various forms of sexual intercourse held to be unnatural or abnormal, especially anal intercourse or bestiality.

So, basically, according to Islamic Law, they are saying that if you have sex completely naked, it annuls your marriage.  Now, I know that Islamic Law states that a woman should not show off their adornment except only that which is apparent and to keep their faces covered sometimes… but I didn’t know anything about this rule.  Sounds a little harsh.  And who is going to punish this??  Do they have sex police that monitor your every move in the bedroom?

Come on…
  

I heard on the news last night that Chicago is considering putting in a bid to host the 2016 Summer Olympics.  While the decision won’t be made until 2009, the ball has started rolling and I think it’s great.  Mayor Daley in Chicago is thinking of making it more of a regional Olympics, thus including cities like South Bend, IN and Milwaukee as part of the games. 

Can you imagine?  The Olympics in Milwaukee???  And even if that doesn’t fly, I think I could handle the 1 1/2 hour drive down to Chicago to check out some events. 

Back in July, after NYC was shot down for the 2012 Olympics, Maggie Haskins, a writer for cnnsi.com, wrote why she thought that Chicago has a decent shot at the Olympics. 

• The Second City’s beaches, museums, zoos, aquariums, parks and harbors could be mixed with Olympic venues such as beach volleyball, track and swimming. Massive Grant Park, which sits in between the iconic Chicago skyline and Lake Michigan, could serve as the center of the Olympic celebration.
• Grant Park, along with the newly unveiled Millennium Park, could be transformed into an Olympic Park where visitors congregate for concerts (the Petrillo Band Shell and the Frank Gehry-designed Pritzker Pavilion), food, kids’ games and evening parties (perhaps the famed Holland House that was the center of the Athens 2004 nightlife can set up shop here as well). Just east of Soldier Field, Northerly Island could serve as the site for the Aquatic Center, placing one of the game’s premier events at a central location. The Shedd Aquarium, Field Museum and Navy Pier also will serve as attractions during the Games.
• Just up Lake Shore Drive, which would serve as the major artery for Olympic buses, a beach volleyball venue could sit at the east end of North Avenue. Each summer, Chicagoans congregate there to play volleyball, and it seems only fitting to place the stadium at the beach. I can’t say I know exactly where the Olympic stadium would be located – perhaps newly renovated Soldier Field or another location a bit south?
• It should be noted that, like New York City, Chicago’s government has a very solid relationship with the private sector, and Mayor Richard M. Daley always has been a major force behind Chicago’s public works and summer festivals.
• Transportation is always a topic of contention and here, Chicago is again a unique city. The “El” can be expanded and updated. As an above-ground rail line, it allows visitors traveling to events an opportunity to view the city.
• Another major asset of Chicago and the Chicagoland area is the number of universities with existing athletic venues that could renovated over the next 11 years to accommodate the Olympics.  Northwestern, UIC, Loyola, Chicago State, NIU, or even the University of Illinois.  All of them could be hosting sporting events.
• Imagine the gold-medal baseball game played against the backdrop of the Ivy at Wrigley Field (if baseball is voted back into the Games in 2016). Imagine Lake Shore Drive filled with cyclists for the road race. Imagine the Chicago skyline at night with the Olympic flame burning brightly. And lastly, imagine two-time gold medalist and world sports icon Michael Jordan lighting that very flame, a moment that will rival Muhammad Ali’s lighting of the Atlanta torch.

I think it’s a great idea.  And my opinion matters, damn it!  I want to host the javelin throw in my backyard.

Yahoo has some pretty interesting year-end photos online and I thought this one was pretty cool.

Giant waves crash over onlookers washing them off the sea wall of Cape Town’s Kalk Bay harbour, August 27, 2005. The two men were later rescued as storms created waves of an estimated nine metres. Picture taken August 27, 2005. REUTERS/Philip Massie PICTURES OF THE YEAR 2005

Don’t ask me what these dudes were thinking… but I would NOT be out by that lighthouse if the weather was like that!