On a quick side note, I wanted to congratulate Kevin Tripp and his “Who’s On First” fantasy team. Kevin has the unique distinction of being able to say that he has Carlos Zambrano on his team.

The same Zambrano that worked 1.2 innings in the Cubs/Brewers game last night, gave up 8 earned runs, and finishing with an ERA of a mere 43.20.

I’m sure with a fine showing like that, you will FOR SURE win the ERA category this week. NICE.

For the past few years, Tim and I have always gotten a kick out of some of the articles that yahoo posts on its website. Let me give you some examples, and you’ll see what I mean. Keep in mind, these are the ENTIRE articles. Not just a lead-in or anything like that….

Distinguished Senators: The Trade

The trade of Ohka for Spivey is a pain to analyze, since there are all kinds of hypotheticals and differing projections and that kind of nonsense to take into consideration.

or this one…

Favre flashed durability early

Today’s story is about Brett Favre. Fine, but where do you start?

YES. That is the entire story…

Offensive line will be fine

Earlier this off-season, when the Green Bay Packers failed to retain guards Marco Rivera and Mike Wahle, many wondered if quarterback Brett Favre would return behind a revamped offensive line, and if the Packers could continue to be one of the NFL’s best offenses.

Once again, that is the ENTIRE article. It doesn’t expand on why the offensive line is going to be fine, as the title suggests. It just stops.

Seriously, yahoo. If you can’t find anyone better to write your articles, give me a call. A goat in a tutu (what?) could write better than this.

I’m not exactly sure of the context of this picture that I found on jsonline.com, but something is not right. Anyone know??

Ok, so technically, it’s my Dad’s new 2nd house and I’ll be renting from him. But still. It’s a real, 2-story house!!! After a few months of searching and 4 other offers getting shot down, we finally found “the one.” I haven’t even seen the house yet, but we’re going to try and set up a time for me to go in and see and and hopefully take lots of pictures. It’s less than 5 minutes away from work, so that’s awesome, AND it’s less than 5 minutes away from Jenny’s house!! Does life get any better???

With that said, I’m going to need someone to take over the rest of my lease for my apartment down off of Brady St. If you know of anyone that is interested in a 2-bedroom apartment in Milwaukee for $530, please let me know asap!!

Ok. So I didn’t post about fantasy baseball last week because I was disgusted with myself and with my team’s performance. I had a pretty bad loss to Tim’s mediocre team and I didn’t feel like sharing it with the world. This week is way different. I beat a good team, Mike’s Police Chief Wiggum, with an 8-4 solid win. Maybe I am back on the winning path. This week will tell. I’m playing Tulsa’s powerhouse “Spooners.” Any friendly advice for how to beat him?

1. Jim’s Ass (Jim–last week, #1): 89-40-3
2. Spooners!!! (Tulsa–last week, #2): 71-55-6
3. Crady Blark (Tara–last week, #3): 68-57-7
4. glove compartment (Jeremy–last week, #4): 65-63-4
5. Police Chief Wiggum (Babe–last week, #5): 62-65-5
6. The Disabled List (Tim–last week, #6): 61-67-4
7. Who’s On First? (TRIPP–last week, #7): 47-75-10
8. Barons (Niti–last week, #8): 41-82-9

Tripp, I’ll grant you a waiver for having a subpar week again last week since you were on vacation. But this week you have no excuse!!

As a society, we’ve seen some pretty weird stuff being sold recently. Like a piece of toast that has an image of a holy figure on it. Or a back hair of some famous celebrity. Or a piece of an aircraft of someone famous who died.

This is right up there.

Perhaps the oddest piece of work at Art Basel is a bar of soap, displayed on a square of black velvet, purportedly made from Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s fat, removed during liposuction.

What the F??? That bar of soap is considered “art?” Now, I know that art is different to different people, but COME ON. A piece of fat from some politician is NOT art. It’s just gross. Do you actually use that? Is it some sort of sick fantasy of people to be rubbing a prime minster’s fat on themselves? Gross.

What do you think?

This past week pitted the 2 teams tied for 2nd place… Aurora Health Care vs. Club G’s. When we played them the first time, they got last ups and won the game in the last inning, 20-19. This time, we didn’ t have much luck avenging that loss. I believe the final was 12-15 or something along those lines. I guess it’s true–we can’t win without TRIPP. I won’t be playing for the next two weeks due to prior commitments, so I hope that the team can pull off some wins without me. Hey–the good news is that my batting average can’t go down by not playing. Stats are below.

Since I won’t be around for a few weeks, here are my “just-after-midseason” awards for statistical categories:

Most At Bats: TRIPP (that WITH Tripp missing a game and obviously being the only person on the team to not take a walk yet this season)
Most Hits: Mike S with 17
Most Singles: Jonny Hammer with 10
Most Doubles: TRIPP with 5
Most Triples: Tim with 3
Most Homeruns: Mike S with 5
Most Walks: Bonnie with 8
Most Runs Scored: Mike S and Tim tied with 15
Most RBIs: TRIPP with 19
Best Average: Mike S batting .895!!
Best On Base Percentage: Mike S with a .909
Best Slugging Percentage: Not surprisingly, Mike S with a whopping 2.053!

Double congrats to bonnie for being the only girl on the team to be leading in a statistical category. You go girl!! Good luck Club in the next 2 weeks–I’ll be cheering for you!!

For 5 seasons, Dawsons Creek fans wondered who Joey Potter would ultimately end up with. Some (like Jeff Kippa) thought this would be the ultimate pairing:

JOEY	DAWSON

Others (like myself), knew that the best ending would be Joey with the man who always knew just what to say:

JOEY	PACEY

But then Mr. “EVERYONE LOVES ME” Cruise had to come in and ruin a good thing. Early Friday morning, Tom Cruise proposed to Joey Potter, aka Katie Holmes. Now we’re going to have to look at this.

JOEY	TOM

He has ruined all things that were good and right. Jerk.

I feel like such a guy. I completely forgot about the 1 year anniversary of tarapfeifer.com!!!

Back on June 10th, 2004, a legacy was born. Or, just my pathetic attempt at entertaining my family, friends and complete strangers by posting about random stuff. I’ve gone from talking about the US Olympic Baseball team to posting pictures of monkeys that look like Bonnie. I think it’s only going to go downhill from here.

Some interesting (or, maybe really boring) site statistics for you nerds out there:

It’s been a lot of fun for me, but your comments are what makes my site fun. I’m interested if there was a post that you really liked or a favorite memory from your time on tarapfeifer.com. Post that in the comments below.

I realized that I haven’t featured a friend on the site recently… as I have done in the past with people like Tim, Erica and Amber.

So, today, I want you to all meet my friend, Bonnie:

WHOOPS! Wrong picture. I mean, this is my friend, Bonnie:

Any greetings for Bonnie can be posted in the comments below. She is an all-star catcher/flirter for the famous Club G’s co-ed softball team, as well as an avid Bumpus and Asian-man fan (atta boy, Niti!). Coming soon to an establishment near you…

Regardless of what the Michael Jackson verdict is, mark this prediction…

Within the next year, Michael Jackson is going to attempt suicide.

I think this is going to happen ESPECIALLY if he is found guilty. He’s said in the past that he couldn’t go out living if he couldn’t be with kids.

You saw it here first…

UPDATE: The jury found Jackson NOT guilty on all charges. What a joke. Just goes to show that if you have money, you can get away with just about anything.

For the next week or so, rumor has it that the Milwaukee Brewers are going to change their name to the Milwaukee Rookies.

Now, JJ Hardy has been in the majors all season and has struggled. His defense has been great, but his average is a measly .177. Heck, Wes Obermueller has a better average than that.

Dave Krynzel is also a rookie, but he doesn’t play on a regular basis. Still, with 7 at bats, he’s batting a whopping .000. Way to go, Dave.

Last week was the big “SPIVEY for OKHA” trade. I think it was a good move… one, we got rid of an infielder who is injury prone, and two, we picked up a SOLID 5th starter. If you think Obermueller’s 2 2/3 inning starts his past two times were “solid,” then you are smoking some crazy stuff. ANYWAY, part of that trade meant bringing Ricky Weeks up from AAA. The kid has only been up for 3 days, but he’s batting .250. Yes, .250. Better than either of the two rookies before him. With that is 3 strikeouts though, so I’m sure he’s just taking some getting used to.

Well, NOW, to complete the newly formed “Milwaukee Rookies,” the Brewers called up Prince Fielder today to DH in the interleague games this week. Granted, Fielder is batting .253 with 15 home runs and 47 runs batted in for the Nashville Sounds. He had a .507 slugging percentage, with 37 walks and 57 strikeouts. I guess with Damian Miller, Russell Branyan and Jeff Cirillo all hurt, our DH possibilities would be pretty limited. Chris Magruder? Hardly DH quality. Maybe Ben Sheets?

With 4 losses in a row and barely scoring 3 runs in most of those games, I suppose we have absolutely nothing to lose. After all, they said that Fielder is getting sent back down as soon as interleague play is done. But are we bringing up our great farm system too fast? What do you think?

Last night we pulled out a good game versus the ahole Guerillas. We’ve played against Guerillas in past years and they have always been fun to play against. This is the same team that used to come to games complete with their own accordian “band” and had fun when they played. That’s not the same team they have this year. Last night, this spunky chick comes up to the plate when Tripp is pitching and here is the converstion:

CHICK: I am going to knock the fuck out of this ball right at you.

TRIPP: You going to what?

CHICK: I am going to stick the bat up your ass. I’ll take you out back after the game

TRIPP: How much you cost?

Then the ump stepped in and told us to play ball. Fair enough. But somewhere in there, the chick also called Tripp an anorexic. What?? Nice come back. For f’s sake, it’s a co-ed softball league. These are the leagues that come together to have fun and to go out to the bar afterwards. Not to start picking fights with the other team for no reason.

The funny thing is, TRIPP didn’t even say anything to her before that! In fact, we hadn’t said a word to this team before she came up to bat. Obviously, she didn’t like losing and felt the need to take it out on Tripp.

Makes the win even sweeter though. Anywho… here are the stats.

To date this year, TRIPP is somehow leading the team is RBIs with 19. Don’t ask me how…

Jeremy emailed me this quiz today, so I thought it would be neat to try and find out just how bad of an environmentalist I am…

Ever wondered how much “nature” your lifestyle requires? You’re about to find out. This Ecological Footprint Quiz estimates how much productive land and water you need to support what you use and what you discard.

CATEGORY ACRES
food 5.4
mobility 2.5
shelter 4.2
goods/services 5.9
TOTAL FOOTPRINT 18

IN COMPARISON, THE AVERAGE ECOLOGICAL FOOTPRINT IN YOUR COUNTRY IS 24 ACRES PER PERSON.

WORLDWIDE, THERE EXIST 4.5 BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCTIVE ACRES PER PERSON.

IF EVERYONE LIVED LIKE YOU, WE WOULD NEED 4.1 PLANETS.

Whooops. That’s all sorts of no good. Take the quiz by clicking here. It only took me 2 minutes (tops)… and post how many planets we would need if everyone lived like you. I want to see just how bad I suck.

Ok, so maybe I exaggerated last week. I was all upset that my team was doomed after tying TRIPP. Luckily for me, I am playing the 3 last-place teams, three weeks in a row. Two weeks ago was Tripp, last week was Niti (who I won 7-3 against) and this week is Tim (after 1 day, I’m up 6-3). Unfortunately, Jim and Tulsa are also doing nothing but winning, so it’s going to be hard to get them out of the top two spots in the league. It’s a marathon, not a sprint though, and I have faith that the team formerly known as “SHEN BEETS” (now known as Crady Blark) can pull out a winning season.

1. Jim’s Ass (Jim–last week, #1): 75-30-3
2. Spooners!!! (Tulsa–last week, #2): 58-44-6
3. Shen Beets (Tara–last week, #3): 57-45-6
4. Police Chief Wiggum (Babe–last week, #4): 54-49-5
5. glove compartment (Jeremy–last week, #5): 50-54-4
6. Barely Know Her (Tim–last week, #6): 47-59-2
7. Who’s On First? (TRIPP–last week, #8): 36-64-8
8. Barons (Niti–last week, #7): 34-66-8

Tripp finally got himself out of the doghouse too–he’s up into 7th place… if only by a two game margin. Is this the start of Tripp’s winning ways??