3/30/2005

Slap Your Irritating Co-Workers Day

Filed under: Plain Ol' Funny Stuff — Tara @ 9:42 am

I just got this forwarded to me today and thought I would pass it on to all of you so that you may adjust your schedules accordingly.

Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don’t give a damn about?

Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you?

Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch?

Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it?

Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce today as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY!

These are the rules you must follow:

  • You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
  • You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
  • You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
  • No weapons are allowed… other than going upside somebody’s head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
  • CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your “assault” must be followed with something like “cause I’m sick of your stupidass always messing up stuff!”
  • If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!
  • Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living day lights out of and get to slapping…..and have a great day.

    3/29/2005

    The Ultimate Marathon

    Filed under: Wisconsin Sports — Tara @ 10:13 pm

    Neill showed me this article about the “Ultimate Marathon” today.

    For most long-distance runners, a marathon is the crown jewel – the pinnacle of human endurance. But Correspondent Lesley Stahl reports on runners who are tackling five marathons in a row.

    They’re called ultra-marathoners, and in their world, the toughest race of all is the Badwater Ultramarathon through a scorching desert and halfway up a mountain, all without stopping.

    Wait a second before I quote anything else. 5 MARATHONS IN A ROW. They mean consecutively. 1 Marathon=26.2 miles. 5 marathons=131 miles. Are these people nuts? I can see the satisfaction of completing a marathon, or even the Ironman. But running 131 miles in a row. That’s just stupid.

    It’ll be a 135-mile course that winds through Death Valley , a stretch of the Mojave Desert that is considered the hottest place on the planet. Temperatures can reach over 130 degrees.

    The asphalt gets so hot here – up to 200 degrees - that runners stick to the white line to keep their shoes from melting.

    What?? What kind of torture is that? Who wants to run on 200 degree asphalt? FUN.

    The race goes on for 30 non-stop hours. The Badwater race starts below sea level and goes up 8,400 feet to the finish line halfway up Mount Whitney, the tallest peak in the lower 48.

    Wait a second. It’s not only 135 miles long and goes on for 30 straight hours, but you are going UPHILL the entire time?? Yup–I think I’ll send in my registration now.

    At the 20-mile mark, Karnazes stopped at a 7-Eleven and he wasn’t the least bit out of breath. “I usually can go maybe 10 hours without feeling too much,” says Karnazes. “And then, after that, it goes downhill.”

    At this stop, Karnazes only bought coffee. But on runs where he can burn up to 30,000 calories, he’s been known to down an entire cheesecake. And get this: He’s even ordered in.

    “I run with a credit card and a cell phone, so when there is not a 7-Eleven around, like some of the country roads out there, I can get him to deliver a pizza to me. And I kind of give them a coordinate, a corner,” says Karnazes. “It happens quite often, actually.”

    20 miles without being out of breath? I run from my computer to the bathroom and I’m out of breath. And what kind of pizza joint is going to deliver a pizza to someone who is running. They always ask for an address. You can’t just say, “well, I’m running right now, so depending on your delivery time, I might be in a different place.” What happens if you run outside of their delivery area? Do you slow down in order to get the pizza?

    Well, you can read the rest of the article for yourself. If you want to run it with me, just post it below and we can send in our registrations together.

    3/28/2005

    New Burger King “Calorie” Sandwich

    Filed under: Rantings and Ravings — Tara @ 6:36 pm

    Omelet Sandwich

    Check out that sandwich. That’s 730 calories and 47 grams of fat of lovin’ right there in Burger King’s New “Enormous Omelet Sandwich.” The sandwich has one sausage patty, two eggs, two American cheese slices and three strips of bacon. Translation: An instant 5 lbs gained in EACH of your thighs. Instantly.

    I don’t know how I feel about these fast food companies bucking the “let’s be healthy trend.” Like Hardees offering the “Monster thick burger.” I mean, I’m all about eating… but I don’t want to feel like I can’t eat anything the rest of the day after having a 730 calorie sandwich in the morning. What do you think?

    Another Easter Come and Gone

    Filed under: Friends and Family — Tara @ 3:52 pm

    Aren’t we a happy family?

    Me and the Parents

    I just got back from a weekend in Ohio with my parents visiting my Dad’s side of the family for Easter. Good times, but it is definately a whirlwind of activity, including the 7+ hour drive there and back. So, my apologies for lack of posting. I’ll get back in the game.

    But a question for you all: Do you think my dad and his brother look alike? Click on that link and post your comments below.

    3/24/2005

    Vote for MWT as Blog of the Week

    Filed under: General — Tara @ 9:57 am
    MWT logo

    As most of you know, I moonlight as a founding member of www.milwaukeewingtour.com. We have been nominated as a potential “blog of the week” on MKEonline.com, but we need your help in getting the votes to be #1. Please click on the link below to vote–it only takes a few seconds. And pass this email on to your friends and your friends’ friends, etc. Post it on your website. Make flyers and toss them off of a building top. Walk around downtown Milwaukee with a sandwich board promoting the site. Do what you must. Deadline to vote is March 30. Thank you ahead of time!!

    Click here to make www.milwaukeewingtour.com a winner!

    3/23/2005

    Support Our Troops Decals

    Filed under: Rantings and Ravings, What's Wrong With These People? — Tara @ 6:41 pm
    Support Our Troops

    I’m sure most of you have see this decal or some version of this decal on a car at some point within the past 6 months. Whether it’s supporting our troops, supporting a cure for cancer, supporting peace, or just supporting your children’s school, they have popped up all over the place as magnets that you can slap on the side of your car.

    What I don’t understand is why people put them on their cars like this:

    Sideways

    Now, I was first introduced to these ribbons back when the Gulf War was going on. We all would get little ribbons like this and we’d pin them to our red plaid jumpers in support of the troops. The only time we wore them sideways was when we were too retarded to put the pin on straight.

    So, why are people putting them on their cars SIDEWAYS?? Are they not coherent enough to read “Support Our Troops” when it is on an angle? Could it not fit on the car the other way? Is that the new “style” for this war and I just don’t know it?

    Am I the only one that has noticed this and thinks it’s a little “off?”

    3/22/2005

    Racine Case Student Arrested With Sawed-off Shotgun

    After Columbine, I never thought that we would hear anything about school shootings again. Security was stepped up and school officials kept a closer eye on “troubled” students.

    I thought wrong. First were yesterday’s shootings at a school on an Indian reservation in Bemidji, Minnesota. The guy killed two of his grandparents, 7 people in his high school and injured 15 others. Then he killed himself. All this in a high school of merely 300 students where they probably never thought this sort of event would happen.

    Then we find out that a student at Racine Case was caught carrying around a sawed off shotgun in school today. Details are still sketchy, but rumor has it that the boy was in a gang and students said that he had been talking in recent weeks about killing other students. You know, the usual afterschool activities.

    These are the types of kids that I wish I could get inside of their heads. I wish I could know what their parents teach them. I wish I knew how they got these morals where SHOOTING OTHER PEOPLE IS OK. I wish I knew how schools, especially one like Racine Case, didn’t stop this gun from even getting into the school in the first place.

    Schools are a place to go and be educated. Not to fight and kill people. I always thought metal detectors in schools was a silly idea, but I’m beginning to think otherwise. If a student’s only motivation is to go to school to hurt someone, keep them out of schools. It’s not right of them to ruin the futures of other children.

    Hogzilla is REAL!

    Filed under: Plain Ol' Funny Stuff — Tara @ 8:10 am
    Hogzilla is Real!

    A while ago, I told everyone about Hogzilla, a 1,000-pound, 12-foot “hog” that was found in Georgia last summer. From the looks of the picture, it honestly looks like a fake–someone who had too much time on their hands to photoshop a gigantic beast and pass it around the internet.

    Well, reports today came out that the picture and story are in fact, TRUE. A documentary that just came out showed people donning biohazard suits to exhume the behemoth’s smelly remains. The experts estimated Hogzilla was probably only 7 1/2 to 8 feet long, and weighed about 800 pounds.

    This town where Hogzilla was found is taking things a bit far though.

    Despite the dispute, this town 180 miles south of Atlanta has already adopted Hogzilla as its own. It went with a Hogzilla theme for its fall festival, with a parade featuring a Hogzilla princess, children in pink pig outfits and a float carrying a Hogzilla replica.

    Boy. Something to shoot for next year: HOGZILLA PRINCESS. Mom will be so proud…

    3/20/2005

    DeLorean is Dead

    Filed under: General — Tara @ 12:37 pm

    DeLoreanI’m not referencing the death of the Back to the Future series, because that will always live as a classic movie series. I’m talking about John DeLorean, who developed the cool “winged” sportscar that Michael J. Fox drove around in time.

    After reading this article on yahoo.com, I was surprised to read that the guy had been acquitted of charges that he planned to sell $24 million worth of cocaine to support the making of these DeLorean cars. If only he could have used some of the movie profits to sell the car, I don’t think cocaine would have had to been an option.

    Rest in peace John DeLorean. Thanks for inventing our future.

    3/18/2005

    I can push a ball of poop 50 times my weight uphill

    Filed under: General — Tara @ 8:01 am

    Caught your attention, didn’t I?

    I was reading some news on cnn.com today when I came across the headline “Know Thy Poop.” Great attention grabber for me!

    The article is actually about a science exhibit that is travelling around the United States. The idea is to be funny while still teaching about the different “gross” animals and their habits.

    Branzei said the target age is 8 to 12 but the exhibits try to accommodate everyone.

    She said the idea came in 1993 when she was clipping her toenails. “It literally hit me: ‘What’s that gunk made of?’ Kids like gross stuff. I wanted to teach them science. It was born right then and there.”

    Hey, I’m 26 and I find this stuff interesting. I like gross stuff too. :) Take a read of the article–you might actually learn something.

    3/17/2005

    Costa Rica 2005

    Filed under: Friends and Family — Tara @ 9:58 am
    Cheers to Costa Rica!

    That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. We’re back. After a week in 90+ degree heavenly weather, plenty of sun, drinks and food, and spending time with some WONDERFUL people, I’m back to reality and this 30 degree weather in Wisconsin.

    Click on this link to see the rest of my pictures (and a few from Tim). If you find something you like and you want me to print it off at a higher resolution, just let me know. And leave plenty of comments!

    3/16/2005

    More Great Parenting…

    Filed under: What's Wrong With These People? — Tara @ 11:40 am

    Did everyone hear about this story out of Racine this morning?

    Baby found unharmed after car stolen

    Racine - A 3-month-old baby was found unharmed this morning an hour after the unattended SUV he was in was stolen, police said.

    The boy’s mother, Angela Giles-Barron, had left the vehicle running and her baby inside while she went to the door of her mother’s house in the 1000 block of Albert St. about 6:19 a.m., she told police. An unidentified man entered the vehicle and drove away.

    Racine Police Lt. Dean Stanton said Giles-Barron immediately contacted police.

    Police were about to issue an Amber Alert, a statewide notification of a suspected abduction, when the vehicle and child instead were found at 7:16 a.m. in the 900 block of Peck Ave., about a half-mile from where it had been taken.

    Stanton called it a “crime of opportunity.”

    “He saw a nice SUV running and the door open, so he took it,” Stanton said. “I bet he didn’t expect to find a baby in the back.”

    Police were searching for the suspect this morning.

    Well yeah, it’s a crime of opportunity. Take the baby out of the equation. A car running with the door open? I can’t say that I haven’t done it before (not with the door physically open, but the door was unlocked), but I’ve never done it in an area where I think I would have an even remote chance of someone taking my car. Maybe someone from Racine can tell me what kind of neighborhood the 1000 block of Albert Street is.

    But then you add the baby in.

    I don’t think I would EVER leave my baby in a car with it running. Regardless of the type of neighborhood I was in. If you need to go to your mom’s house and get her and you don’t want to take the baby out, honk. Or call your mom. Or yell out the window. I don’t care. Just an asinine move to leave a child in the car if you ask me.

    3/8/2005

    Too Much Rock Music

    Filed under: Friends and Family — Tara @ 9:04 am

    This past weekend I got to head out to Club Garabaldi’s and go to my cousin Danielle’s wedding reception. It was a great time, as all of my family’s weddings are. Free beer, live music, and good company.

    Speaking of live music, we had a live band there that was made up of people from within the two families. My cousin Nate, was one of the guitarist:

    Nate Rocks Out

    While the majority of us enjoyed the oldies and covers of popular bands, the loud music was just a bit too much for some… especially my mom:

    Mom Can't Handle the Music

    Do your parents still complain about how loud live music is?

    3/7/2005

    Where Will You Be in 48 Hours?

    Filed under: General — Tara @ 8:50 am

    I’m not sure about all of you, but in 48 hours, I’m going to be in-flight to this:

    Grand Papagayo

    VACATION TIME, BABY!!! I’m heading down to Costa Rica to the Grand Papagayo Resort in Guanacaste. The highs every day will be 95 or above, the resort is all-inclusive, and I’m going with a group of people that are pretty damn fun. Does it get any better than that?

    What will you be doing in 48 hours?

    3/3/2005

    Stupid Team Names

    Filed under: Plain Ol' Funny Stuff — Tara @ 10:58 am

    I was thinking the other day that there are some stupid team names in sports. Houston Texans? Way to be original. New Jersey Nets? Have you heard of a NFL team named the “Uprights” or the Birmingham Bats? No. So why name your team after a piece of equipment?

    So, I did some research to find some of the worst team names out there. In my opinion, a team name should represent something in the city that they are located it (ie, the Milwaukee Brewers) or some sort of strong, powerful or scary beast or person. Which do you think is the worst?

  • Asheville Tourists
  • Tourists can be pretty intimdating…

  • Albuquerque Isotopes
  • Isotopes? Is that town really that smart?

  • Auburn DoubleDays
  • What the f is a Doubleday?

  • Brevard County Manatees
  • Who names their team after a seacow?

  • Chattanooga Lookouts
  • Lookout for what?

  • Corpus Christi Hooks
  • Hookers?

  • Everett Aqua Sox
  • Now there’s a classic. They’re named after an 80’s fad shoe

  • Idaho Falls Chukars
  • I don’t even know what a Chukar is…

  • Inland Empire 66ers of San Bernardino
  • Two words: Too long

  • Lakewood BlueClaws
  • Claws would be bad in and of itself… but did adding the word “Blue” in front of it really help?

  • Lansing Lugnuts
  • Great. Ran out of animals and people, so they went to pieces of hardware

  • Montgomery Biscuits
  • Haha… I’d love to see that mascot.

  • Myrtle Beach Pelicans
  • SCARY!!!

  • Tulsa Drillers
  • Driller? Maybe Tulsa can explain this one

  • Wilmington Blue Rocks
  • Once again, the whole blue thing. Does making the rock blue turn it any more frightening? I mean, at least they could have call it the boulders or something…

    Can you find others that I’ve missed? Ones that are, God forbid, WORSE?

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