In true “It Could Always Be Worse” form, I’d like to give a salute to the Cleveland Browns this week. If you are upset about your football team doing bad, just remember, it ALWAYS could be worse. Check out the box score on the Browns from their game on Sunday:

NET YARDS RUSHING: 29

NET YARDS PASSING: -12

TOTAL NET YARDS: 17

17 TOTAL YARDS??? Dude, Peyton Manning throws for like 300+ yards a game and even a crappy running back can usually get 50 yards. Cleveland’s quarterback, McCown, threw for -12 yards? How is that even possible, you ask? Well, he threw for 62 yards, but was sacked SEVEN times and lost 74 yards on those sacks.

And let’s look at those rushing yards. William Green gained 5 yards on 11 attempts. That calculates out to be roughly 16 inches per carry (thanks to Bob and Brian for figuring that out on Lazer yesterday). 16 INCHES. That’s like the size of my computer screen. Or as B&B said, the distance across home plate in baseball. You can’t tell me that he couldn’t take the football from one side of home plate to the other side? Heck, even our crappy punter, BJ Sander, could punt further than that–and that’s saying a lot.

Nonetheless, I salute you, Cleveland, for having one of the worst performances I’ve seen in a long time…