I was listening to Czabe on Bob & Brian this morning, and one of the discussion topics was about Wrigley Field falling apart. For those of you that haven’t heard, the safety of fans at this like 400 year old ball park has been in jeopardy because there have been slabs of concrete falling on little kids heads. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but a little water from a leaky roof never hurt anyone. Concrete MIGHT leave a mark.

Regardless, the rumored contingency plan for the Cubs if they couldn’t play at Wrigley was quite interesting.

MILLER PARK

Miller Park turns into “Wrigley Field North” whenever the Brewers play the Cubs, I guess they figure that Cubbie fans wouldn’t mind driving up North to watch their Cubs. I’ve heard people express utter disgust that the FIBs would invade our park, but I’ve also heard the “hey, it’s extra income for the Brewers, why not rent it out?”. What do you think?

(Oh, and for now at least, we don’t have to worry about it, because Wrigley put up “protective netting” to hold the concrete from hitting any fans. But in the future, this might have to be addressed…)

For those of you that live in the Milwaukee area, I’m sure a lot of you have been to Kelly’s Bleachers on Bluemound, also known as the home of the 4 pound hamburger. I can’t find a picture of it anywhere, but that is a bigass burger. To put that in perspective, think of a good-sized steak being around 16 ounces. This is 64 ounces. Very impressive if anyone has consumed one of those.

But today, Brian Hawes sent me an email to one-up Kelly’s Bleachers. This place in Pennsylvania, Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub, beats Kelly’s by 2 pounds. A 6 POUND HAMBURGER.

Much like Kelly’s Bleachers (who ask for $19.95 for the burger), Denny’s offers this thing for a mere $23.95. AND… you get:

* 6 lb. burger
* Two whole tomatoes
* A half-head of lettuce
* 12 slices of American cheese
* A full cup of peppers
* Two entire onions
* Mayo, ketchup, mustard

I guess no one has ever finished this thing by themselves either. Unfreakin’ believable. Here’s another picture of some dude trying to make this burger his bitch. I doubt he finished it either.

Holy Gophers batman! I found this picture/story on yahoo this morning and I couldn’t believe my eyes. The guy in the picture has been passing it around his auto parts store in a small town in Georgia… but he supposedily buried the thing because “the meat of large feral hogs is typically not very good.” I don’t know. A “hog” that’s 1,000 pounds and had 9-inch tusks? You be the judge.

I do think that the University of Minnesota should get on the horn and see if they can get one of those things for its mascot. If they do that, of course the University of Wisconsin has to match them and find a big ass badger and then they can fight on the field at 1/2 time. Bets on the winner?

About a year ago when work sucked and the days dragged on (oh shit, that’s the way it still is…), I came across Aaron Karo’s website. I was in one of those moods where I was a few years out of college and just finally getting used to this 40 hour work week and no 4 month summer vacations… and boy, did Karo seem to just hit everything on the head. Some excerpts from some of his columns…

From his November, 2003 column

Now that you’re twentysomething, leisure time is all of a sudden at a premium. After all, you spend most of the daylight hours staring at the gray/burgundy walls of your cramped cubicle filled with Dilbert cartoons and photos from your last sorority date party. But when you leave work, that’s when things really start getting interesting. Because for my generation, the hours from nine to five are unimportant, it’s what we do from five to nine that really counts.

(to prove my point, let’s take a look at a picture of my cube, and let’s look at the details, people!)

Yes, those are gray/burgundy walls, Dilbert cartoons on the wall, and picture from the last “party” I was at

And more recently in February of 2004…

Let’s face it, the working world is full of annoying people. Here are some of my least favorite: people who set up out-of-office replies on their email when they go home for the weekend, guys who have female assistants leave their outgoing voicemail message, people who keep a little tube of toothpaste and a toothbrush in their desk so that they can brush and floss every time they touch a morsel of food, people who take the elevator only one floor and, the all-time-worst, unnecessary business card exchangers who give you their card at the bar even though you have no fathomable use for their services nor any remote desire to contact them in the foreseeable future.

And Matthias’ favorite…

I love how the term “FYI” is now used as every part of speech in the office. Noun? “Just as an FYI, tell James I’ll be at the meeting.” Verb? “Can you FYI James and tell him I’ll be at the meeting?” I swear I once heard a co-worker use it as an adverb: “I told James FYI-ishly about the meeting.” It’s like when the Smurfs use the word “smurf” to mean twelve different things.

This guy has brought myself and some co-workers to tears because of some of the stuff he writes. Which is why we were all greatly saddened when we read his last column in April of 2004 where he decided to stop writing his columns for a while. I looked forward to reading those every month and laughing about how dead-on he is on some of the things he talks about.

So, I think everyone should email him and tell him you read about him on my website and you think he should go back to writing–because us midwesterners miss his humor. He claims he replies to every single email he gets, so please post his replies in the comments below. Email him at Aaron Karo

Does everyone remember the game “Mouse Trap?” It is made by Milton Bradley, and it’s one of those games that everyone seemed to have when they were growing up. I didn’t, but about 80% of my friends did, so I got to “play” it all the time.

The thing is, did anyone ever really play Mouse Trap? I never did. All we ever did was set up the little thing, try and get the ball from start to finish, get bored with it, and put it away. I don’t even know how to play the game. Does anyone know how to play it?

For those of you that know Tim and REALLY want to know what he does at work… this is it:

I don’t know if he just took off his own thong and is showing it off to the camera, or if he actually got some desperate chick to leave him hers, but either way, he has it at work… and I think he’s trying to lick it.

You’re a sick man.

In honor of all of you boys that visit my site, welcome to Puddingfest. I’m not sure what it is, or why they do it, but this site has a ton of pictures of girls wrestling in pudding. Eat your heart out, Tim.

So, last night, I sent out my resignation email to my softball team. I have managed this softball team for the past 3 years and I’m just tired of doing it. I love playing softball, but the struggle to try and field a team week after week just keeps getting harder and harder.

If anyone wants to step up and manage a fall-softball team, let me know… otherwise I’m going to walk off into retirement in my prime, just like Ricky Williams.

(picture courtesy of Scott Olson/Getty Images)

Interesting story from the pre-Democratic Convention yesterday. John Kerry’s wife, Theresa, was talking to some people in Massachusetts, and she asked that her home-state delagates to “restore a more civil tone to American politics.”

And what better way to restore a “civil” tone a few minutes later, by telling a reporter to “SHOVE IT.”

Minutes later, Colin McNickle, the editorial page editor of the conservative Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, questioned her on what she meant by the term “un-American,” according to a tape of the encounter recorded by Pittsburgh television station WTAE.

Heinz Kerry said, “I didn’t say that” several times to McNickle. She then turned to confer with Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell and others. When she faced McNickle again a short time later, he continued to question her, and she replied, “You said something I didn’t say. Now shove it.”

Slick move, Theresa.

Perhaps even better was her “spokeswoman’s” response later about it…

A spokeswoman for Heinz Kerry later said, “This was sheer frustration aimed at a right-wing rag that has consistently and purposely misrepresented the facts in reporting on Mrs. Kerry and her family.”

“Right-wing rag?” This could have been anyone saying a comment like this–Democrat or Republican. Either way, how in God’s name do you support your statement of wanting to restore a “civil tone”, when you are telling people to “shove it” and calling them “right-wing rag”s?

Do you think this is one of those “you go girl” comments (Like Hillary thinks it is), or do you think it was a f-up by a politician?

NOTE: For those of you that get grossed out by talking about “Female stuff”, then stop reading now.

Over the weekend, Erica, Jenny and I got into a general conversation about tampons, how they work, etc. In the course of the conversation, Erica and Jenny were talking about how when a woman pees, it just goes “around” the tampon and out. I disagreed (I thought there were two seperate holes), and they continued to make fun of me and laugh at me all weekend because they were positive (well, at least Erica was) that I was wrong.

And, with that, I invite you to view the image right here, courtesy of UW-Madison.

Two holes, my friends, TWO HOLES.

I don’t know what is more sad–the fact that we were arguing about this ALL weekend, or the fact that we are 3, 25-year old women, and we don’t know our own anatomy. Guess I shouldn’t have been passing notes in health class…

Well, we just returned today from the 6th annual camping trip to the Dells with Erica, Jenny and myself. What a great weekend. We had PERFECT weather (including NO RAIN for the first time in a few years), which was really nice.

Erickson’s, the place we go to, was the least busy that I have ever seen it. It was nice to not have neighbors surrounding us the entire weekend, but at the same time, it is neat to meet new people. We did meet some other people around the campsite though who were a lot of fun. Went to Noah’s Ark on Friday, and it was pretty dead all day. Nobody complains about short lines!!

So, you can check out more pictures in my gallery. I am missing some from our last night out on the town, but I’ll get those as soon as Erica develops her camera. Thanks for a great weekend, ladies!!

Well, I leave this afternoon to head up to Ericksons’ Teepee Park Campground in the Dells for the 5th annual camping trip with Erica and Jenny.

This is a picture I took a few years ago of Erica and Jenny jumping into the pool there. We have so much fun.

Then this, this is a picture of where all of the magic happens.

Every year, the campsite has an “Ice Cream Social” where for $2, if you bring your own dish and spoon, you get to have ice cream with all of the locals that actually live at this joint. One year, Jenny and Erica actually got to ride on the coveted golf cart to advertise the social and be in the parade through the campsite.

Neill and I were at this campground once this year, and had an awesome time, so I’m sure this weekend will be no different. Be ready for stories and pictures when I get back!!

NOTE: The title of this post is actually the name of a Pat McCurdy song. Lyrics for it can be found here.

This is just classic. I would assume that usually, flight attendants have to put up with their fair share of drunken passengers. Well, this flight was quite the opposite. Turns out the FLIGHT CREW was hammered. If you read the story, it sounds more like a frat party… food strewn up and down the aisles, people getting beat up, people drunk. Maybe it was a frat party. Maybe it was actually a scene from “Soul Plane.” I don’t know, but this is some funny stuff…

Seeing that the crew were intoxicated and were not fulfilling their duties, Chernopup (a passenger) asked to be served by a sober and competent flight attendant, Dannenberg said. He was then beaten up by crew members.

Beaten up by crew members? This sounds like something that would come straight out of The Onion. Surprisingly, the entire flight crew has been “dismissed.” I’m sure that some of you in my reading audience (myself included), might be all too qualified to apply for their jobs. I gotta get my resume updated….

By now, I’m sure a lot of you have heard about the story where a State Trooper saved a lady when she tried jumping off the Leo Frigo Memorial Bridge in Green Bay, WI. While it’s a sad story, at the same time, it’s an amazing story of herocism by the state trooper, Les Boldt.

Boldt followed the woman’s car to the top of the Leo Frigo Memorial Bridge, some 200 feet above the mouth of the Fox River. He watched the woman get out of her car, close the door and start walking toward the inland edge.

“She’s suicidal and she’s getting out of her car … there’s only one reason she’s heading that direction,” Boldt said. “One reason and one reason only.”

“I’m like, ‘I’ve gotta get there before she gets to the edge.’ She beat me to the edge, but I managed to grab a hold of her arm as she was going over the top.”

On top of all of that, this suicidal lady was trying to fight Boldt off the whole time he was trying to save her life. It’s just one of those situations where this lady and her family should be counting their blessings that help was SO close and that she is still here today.

There is a video of the entire episode if you click here. The trooper (Boldt) was also on the Today show on Tuesday, and you can see that interview here.

So, I got home from Target last night and was absolutely exhausted. I just wanted to go home, shower, and head into bed. This, I was actually successful at doing.

Until 4:00am.

My apartment is very humid right now, because I have no air conditioning. My room is actually quasi-comfortable though at night, because I’ve got my window wide open and my fan on high.

Well, at 4:00am, I hear this crazy loud noise coming from outside of my apartment.

GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrCHHHCHHHCHHHHCHHHCHHHCHHHCHHHCHHHH…
GrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrCHHHCHHHCHHHCHHHCHHHCHHHCHHHCHHHCHH…..

Turned out that some ass clown thought that 4:00am would be a great time to see if his pos car would turn over. Even I, after about 2 minutes, could have told you that his battery was dead. Well, obviously this mfer needed to try to start his car for another 45 minutes until he decided that hmmm…. maybe his car wasn’t going to start.

Hey ahole. You’re in a residential area. How about next time you try that, you do it when the entire neighborhood isn’t sleeping. Dummy.